Hardened Heart
by StoppedaTraffic-Light
Summary: Rory is a senior at Yale, without a boyfriend. Then the one person she never thought she’d see again returns. But he’s not the same as he used to be. His deep blue eyes have hardened, the eyes of someone who has lost his faith and trust in the world.
1. Ch1: He Could Feel It

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Hardened Heartby

Ch.1: He Could Feel It

by Stopped at a Traffic Light

Rory is a senior at Yale, instead of a serious relationship she's just casually dated. Then the one person she never thought she'd see again returns. But he's not the same as he used to be. His deep blue eyes have hardened, the eyes of someone who has lost his faith and trust in the world. TRORY.

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"I'm coming!!" Rory Gilmore ran down the stairs of her apartment, while trying to jab her last earring in her ear, and opened the door, not bothering to check who it was.  
  
"Gilmore! You're late!" The familiar voice of one of her best friends rang. Rory finally got the earring in, and grabbed her purse and jacket in one hand, and her shoes in the other. She tossed her keys to Paris.  
  
"Lock my door, and grab the coffee beside you will ya?" With that her and her old friend ran out to catch the elevator. Rory stumbled along, slipping her shoes on, on the way.  
  
"I'm glad I told you the wrong time." Paris said perfectly calm when the two entered the empty elevator.  
  
"What?" Rory managed to say with her purse handle between her teeth and she slid her jacket on.  
  
"Oh, the class doesn't start for over an hour," she replied, once again in that calm voice.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I told you the wrong time so I knew you'd be ready for the real time."  
  
"You lied to me?!"  
  
"Hey it worked." Paris said as the elevator opened. "Now come on. I know you're gonna need another cup of coffee before class and _since_ I lied you have time for one."  
  
This perked Rory up and she slung an arm around her best friend. "I knew their was a reason I liked you."  
  
Paris shook her head and the two entered a nearby coffee shop to get a large mug of Rory's drug.

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Rory stood up and gathered her books as class ended and made her way back to her apartment. She could take the tram or get a ride back with Paris, but decided to walk. It was only about a thirty minute walk and she decided she could use the fresh air- and a cup of coffee.  
  
About thirty minutes later she walked into the same shop from that morning and walked up to the counter. After she got her order she got one of the cardboard things so she wouldn't burn herself, and a napkin. She turned around to leave but bumped right around and into someone.  
  
"Aww!!!!!!!!!" Rory yelped as scolding black coffee spilled all down the front of her. She tried to pull her shirt from her skin and wipe some off. "Oww!"  
  
She looked at the person she had ran right into. He had blonde hair and amazing blue eyes. Wait, she knew those blue eyes. She looked him over.  
  
"I am so sorry!! Let me help you." The familiar boy handed him some napkins and bent down to pick up her backpack she had dropped.  
  
"Tristan?!!" He stopped what he was doing and stayed hunched on the floor. Rory could see his whole body tense up.  
  
"Rory Gilmore." He stated quietly.  
  
"What are you doing here?" For a moment he didn't say anything, but he slowly stood up and finally met her eyes.  
  
"I-uh go to school here."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yeah I just transferred." He said quietly. He grabbed his coffee and muttered "Sorry about hitting you."  
  
He turned on his heel and quickly walked out of the door. Rory had no idea what came over her. She grabbed her bag and coffee and ran after him. She had absolutely no idea what she was going to say.  
  
"Tristan!" He stopped abruptly fifty yards in front of her. His whole body was stiff, and his shoulders were stiff. She ran ahead to him.  
  
"Why'd you run?" She asked him, smiling and joking.  
  
"Why'd you?" He said seriously.  
  
"Huh?" She was confused.  
  
"Why'd you follow me?" Tristan repeated looking into her eyes under his baseball cap.  
  
"I-I don't know. I mean- I haven't seen you in forever, then you just spilled scolding coffee down me and ran."  
  
"I didn't mean to."  
  
"As you said. But why are you acting like we're sworn enemies?"  
  
"Well Mar," he said using his old pet name for her, "we weren't exactly the best of friends in high school. I was a jack ass and I prefer not to remember those happy times."  
  
"Well somebody's not as cocky as he used to be." She said, mostly for the lack of something else to say.  
  
"I'm sorry." He looked down at his feet.  
  
"For what?" Her face scrunched up in confusion. "You already apologized for the coffee it's ok."  
  
"No...." He trailed off for a moment." For everything... For high school, and.... the way I was.  
Just sorry ok?"  
  
With that he walked away, leaving Rory to stare at his quickly fading figure. This time Rory didn't follow him. She had only talked to him for less than five minutes and she could tell something had happened since she had known him. He had made her life a living hell at Chilton, but after a while they had kind of become friends, until he got sent away to military school. His parents had been embarrassed in front of their friends that they couldn't control him. So they sent him to a strict military school that was supposed to change him. Rory hadn't thought of him in forever, and now she realized that the school really had changed him.  
  
As far as appearance goes he looked almost the same. He had grown a couple more inches. He was more filled out a muscular looking. His hair was cut shorter, like a slightly grown out buzz cut, Rory guessed it was from years at military school. His eyes though, they were the same. They were still vibrant pools of blue that Rory could loose herself in, but their was also something she couldn't place in them. They had a hint of darkness in them, they were hardened over, not so clear anymore, but the eyes of someone who has lost his faith and trust in the world. He had hardened his heart since she had known him... that much was for sure.

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Tristan had walked away as fast as he could without appearing to be running. It took all his strength too, but he knew he had too. It was for his own good. He couldn't let himself remember her. The way she made him feel. If he stood there and let himself carry a friendly conversation with her, he knew that he'd loose himself again, completely. He had worked so hard to forget her.  
  
The guys in Harding knew just as much about her as he did. When he was sent away she was all he could think about. He had too. He couldn't think of how much it hurt to be sent away from his family. To be sent away from everything he knew. He couldn't think about how much he hated being there at Harding. If he thought about her, he could make it through.  
  
Although Harding was the farthest thing from war, and he felt guilty for comparing the two, he felt like he could relate a small bit to how soldiers felt. He knew that he didn't have to face real ammunition or the fact that he could die, and he didn't have to worry about even a small portion of what they did, but he understood the longing.  
  
If you had loved ones to remember the fight was easier. Tristan certainly didn't love his parents, they had never been anything to him but the financial backing of his life, and even now the only thing they paid for was school tuition, he payed for rent, clothes, food, books, and whatever else he needed, if he could pay his tuition he would. He had never been close to any of his family, except his grandfather, who had died the year before. His friends were assholes who would betray you in a heartbeat. They were a matter of convenience. But Rory....  
  
She was real. He knew she hated him. Hell, she had practically told him so on the last day of sophomore year, or rather she told her boyfriend, who proceeded to stick his tongue down her throat. When she had kissed bag boy, it had ripped his heart out. And the worst part of it was she had no idea. She hadn't the slightest inkling that she was the reason he made it through.  
  
Tristan knew he couldn't venture down the road of Rory again. Mary, he thought silently. Why do you have to do this to me? He threw his coffee cup in the nearest trash can, but stopped in his tracks. He turned around.  
  
There she was. She was still standing there, staring at him. She had been standing them watching his retreating figure for over ten minutes.  
  
He could feel it.  
He was losing.  
He was losing the battle.  
He was losing the war with himself.  
  
He was losing, and he knew it. But couldn't stop it.

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Hey everyone hope you like the story. Reviewing really encourages me to turn the chapters out faster. I really hate long breaks between chapters so expect the next chapter this week. 


	2. Ch2: I'm Not Running

Hardened HeartBy Stoppeda Traffic Light Ch. 2: I'm Not Running Rory flung the door opened to her apartment, surprised to see Paris sitting on her couch. Her best friend claimed to live there but spent most of her time at her boyfriends house or the "apartment" that Madeline and Louise shared. While Rory and Paris lived in a modest space, the other two had lived together ever since high school in a space that they called an apartment, when really it was three stories and bigger than the Gilmore house.  
"What are you going here?" Rory asked as she sat her keys down on the table and hung her coat and purse on the hook by the door. "Well I do live here." She replied angrily flipping the pages of a magazine.  
"Technically yes but when you tend to spend five or six nights a week elsewhere, this really just becomes the place that houses your stuff." Rory paused as she pulled off her shoes and threw them by the door. She looked at Paris who was about to dismember the magazine in front of her. "Careful now, what did the magazine ever do to you?" "Uggh! Not in the mood Gilmore. Save you bantering for someone else." "Fine, but you know you'll end up telling me eventually." Paris ignored her and Rory walked over to start a new batch of coffee. While it was brewing, Rory pulled off her sweatshirt.  
"What the hell happened to you? Did they not teach you to how to drink from something that's not a sippie cup at Star Hicksville Elementary?" "First of all Star-s Hol-low." Rory annunciated the words. No matter how many times she repeated it Paris always called it Stars Hicksville when she was in a bad mood. "And as a matter of fact someone ran into me and made me spill my exiler of life. Actually it might be someone you would like to know about." Rory knew Paris had had a thing for Tristan, she made that point evidently clear when she hated Rory because she thought Tristan liked her. It almost ruined any chance the two had at a friendship, but after he got shipped off it made it a little easier.  
"Doubtful. Very Doubtful." Paris finished the magazine and now that she had nothing else to do got up and poured herself a drink.  
"Tristan Dugrey." Rory said nonchalantly as she sipped her freshly brewed coffee.  
Paris spit out the Hawaiian Punch she had been drinking all over the floor. Rory laughed at the blonde girl who looked utterly dumbfounded. "Not interested huh?" She laughed again.  
"Tristan? What is he doing here? I thought he was a military school?!" "Yeah for high school. He is the same age as us you know. He's here to go to school. He said he just transferred." "Did he look the same?" Rory could sense the bad mood disappear as Paris became interested in the news of Tristan. She joined Rory by jumping on the counter.  
"Pretty much. He's a little taller, more muscular and lean. His hairs a lot shorter." Rory hesitated not knowing how to explain what she had sensed earlier.  
"What?" Paris could sense her best friend was leaving something out.  
"He just- He seemed different." "Well yeah it's been like four years Gilmore. Everyone changes." "I don't know it was different. Like.. He just seemed colder." "Colder?" "Yeah. Like he was more guarded, closed off. He wasn't the old joking bantering Tristan. He called Mary once. Once. And even then it was Mar. He never used to call me Rory, and he didn't make one sexual reference, not one." "Wow. I guess he has changed." "Yeah I guess so." Rory mumbled in agreement. The two sat in silence for a moment. Rory couldn't get over it. The way he acted, the look in his eyes, she could tell he had been through a lot. He would have had to, to change that much. She sat and wondered if she'd ever see him again. It was very doubtful. Yale was a huge school, and even then he had made it pretty clear he didn't want to see her. He would probably avoid her even if he did see her.  
  
Tristan made his way out of the row of chairs and into the aisle of stairs. He was almost down the stairs when he tripped over a lone book on the floor and went tripping down the steps. Two people in front of him managed to side step and avoid being hit but one girl in front of him wasn't so lucky. "Owww!!" He hit the ground, bringing her down with him. Everyone around them kept walking stepping over them and their books. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I tripped over a book. Here let me help you up." A small brunette lay beside him. He got up and offered her his hand. She hesitated but took it. "I'm really sorry." He repeated again, before bending down and getting both their books. He stood up and handed her the books. It wasn't until she brushed her straight hair out of her face and behind her ears that he recognized the milky face and blue eyes.  
"Rory." She looked up at him, like she had already knew it was him who had hit her.  
"You look to bump into people don't you. At least you're improving. No coffee this time!" She waved her empty hands to indicate she had no drink." Her voice dripped with sarcasm and slight bitterness. He had hoped she hadn't taken offense to the coffee incident last week, but he could tell it had hurt her, or at least pissed her off. He had seen her a couple times since then, from a distance. He had avoided her at all cost. He was hoping she hadn't noticed but from her tone he could tell she had.  
"Sorry." "I'm sure you are." She said sarcastically as she put her books in her bag. The room was now empty.  
"I am." He mumbled and quickly walked away, unfortunately he only made it a couple of steps.  
"What is your problem?" Her voice stopped him in his tracks. He didn't turn and facer her, he couldn't.  
"What?" "What. Is. Your. Prob-lem." She annunciated, repeating the question. He didn't answer. "You've been avoiding me like the bubonic plague!! Every time you're within a hundred feet you flee!! I could tell you changed Tristan, but I didn't think you hadn't taken up my past time of running-" "I wasn't running." He cut her off.  
"What do you call it then?" He turned and looked her straight in the eye. "Trying not to get my heart broken again." With that he turned and ran down the steps, leaving a dumfounded and confused Rory staring at his retreating figure.  
  
Rory made her way down to her favorite coffee shop. She felt so confused. How had she broken Tristan's heart? She had kissed him sophomore year but they had become friends afterward and he hadn't left until almost a year later. No one ever confused her this much. Even her Yale classes were tolerable. Sometimes they were complicated but there was always an answer in the book or her notes, or in a trip to the library.  
Tristan on the other hand had dropped his bomb, and then left. He just ran away. Or didn't run away. He had said he wasn't running, that he just didn't want to get his heart broken. But how did she break his heart? Her head was going in circles, back to the same question over and over. No matter what she did she couldn't get her mind off Tristan.  
She had to talk to someone. Both her Mom and Lane hadn't answered the phone, so she left a message but neither had called back yet. Rory abruptly changed directions and made her way back to her apartment. Most of the time Paris was a last resort on relationship advice. Yeah she was her best friend, but Paris didn't have a lot to say on girl topics like these. But she needed to talk to someone.Tristan quickly scanned the coffee shop to make sure Rory wasn't there. It was the one where he had first ran into her, and the last thing he needed was to reenact the scene. He made his way to the counter. In the middle of putting his cream and sugar into his cup, he was interrupted by a familiar voice, one that didn't belong to a Gilmore, but another Chiltonite.  
"Well, Well, Well, look who we have here." Tristan turned to see Paris Gellar standing behind him. She was holding two coffees, one small, the other a size that would be too much for Big Foot.  
"Paris. Good to see you again." "Yeah, yeah, skip the formalities. What are you doing here?" She asked bluntly.  
"Getting coffee." He answered gesturing to his cup. "I meant here. At Yale." "Going to school, I would think it would be obvious." "You mean you're choice of school has nothing to do with the girl you followed around for two years?" "What?" "Are you telling me you had no idea Rory went here." "What?! Of course not. How do you know that I ran into-" "I'm her best friend and you need to leave her alone." She cut him off in a typical Paris fashion.  
"You're her best friend?" He asked in surprise. The last time he saw the two they were sworn enemies- because of him, for which he had always felt guilty.  
"Yes, and I'm gonna repeat myself LEAVE. HER. ALONE." She walked past him to get her own cream and sugar.  
"I am." He grabbed a napkin and was about to leave, when she spoke again.  
"No you're not." "Paris what's your damage okay? I've tried to steer clear of her since I ran into her- which I didn't know she went here by the way. I haven't done anything to her!" He just realized his voice had risen on the last part, and people were starting to stare. He lowered his voice. "So back off." "If you didn't do anything then why did she come back to our apartment almost in tears because she doesn't know what she did to hurt you. She thinks you're mad at her." He didn't know what to say. He turned to leave but stopped. With his back turned, he told her "Tell her... Tell her I'm not, okay?" With that Tristan walked out and let the door slam behind him, never looking back. 


	3. Ch3: What are the chances?

**Hardened Heart **

_Ch. 3: What are the chances?_

by StoppedaLight

Rating: PG (right now, may change, doubtful, but it might)

Disclaimer: If I owned anything I wouldn't be here no would I?

NOTE: Sorry about the last chapter guys. I forgot to double space and didn't realize the chapter turned out like this until I started writing this one and glanced back at it. Hope this one's better. Please review!!

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Rory slowly made her way around the room, champagne glass in hand. She hated these kind of functions, and in the past year it seemed like she was always at one. Ever since sophmore year when she ended her last serious relationship with Dean, her grandmother had deemed her fair game for set ups.

Rory and Lorelai assumed that since Lorelai's life didn't turn out like Emily wanted, she was trying to make sure Rory's did. This meant guilting her into coming to countless boring functions that she hated. No matter how many times she told her grandmother that she didn't want to be fixed up, she always was. Emily would casually leave that part out, and just claim she needed a seat filler, but Rory had come to expect a young well bred guy in the seat next to her.

This night had been no different. As Rory made her way to her assigned table, she could spot a blonde man in the seat next to hers. His back was turned to her, and Rory thought about running and just telling her grandmother she had gotten sick, but decided it was best to just get it over with. When she had greeted Emily a few minutes before, she had tried to casually mention that one of her DAR friends had a nice son her age, who was there and wouldn't it be swell if they hit it off? No. It would not be swell. In fact it would be one of the most horribly boring experiences in her life as she sat there and listened to some rich boy talk about his nice car while he tried to hit on her. That's what she wanted to say to Emily, but instead she opted to just manage a smile and nod.

She had reached the table and was about to sit down when the man turned around.

_Oh. My. God_.

_Tristan._

This was not happening. This was sooo not real. This is a dream, a nightmare. It was not real.

"Rory!?"

"Oh my god." She stood in awe, wondering what the odds were. 'Tristan."

Just then her grandmother walked up to them.

"Oh, do you two know each other?" She looked at Rory, and then at Tristan, who was now standing across from Rory with the same deer caught in the headlights look. "How lovely! Why don't you too dance for a while?"

Before either one of them could protest, Emily guided them to the dance floor, and Tristan had no choice but take her hand and dance. Of course a new song started and it had to be some sappy romantic slow song. Of course.

She felt like she was in some cheesy WB teen drama where she was the main character getting reunited with a past love interest. This was just the kind of thing that would happen on one of those.

"I'm sorry." Tristan was the first to break the awkward silence.

"For what?"

"Running out on you. I shouldn't have acted the way I did."

They swayed uncomfortably to the music.

"Why did you?" He gave her a questioning look. "Act that way." He paused beofre answering.

"I... I was afraid I'd get hurt again." He answered truthfully.

"What are you talking about Tristan? How did I break your heart? We never even dated! You hated me!" She was confused and he could tell.

"No." He stated gently. "You hated me." 

"Fine. We hated each other. What's the difference?"

"No. You hated me." She still had a sarcastic duh look on her face, like he had just repeated what she said. "I didn't hate you... I loved you."

"What?!" She broke apart from him. "You made my life a living hell for a year and a half!" She tried to yell in a whisper, so as not to draw attention to them.

"I loved you Rory. You're the only girl I ever loved! I just didn't know how to tell you, so I teased you. Then you hated me. I was gonna try to tell you. I bought you PJ Harvery tickets but you wouldn't go! Instead I had to watch you run back to bag boy and tell him you hated me!" He paused. "The moment he stuck his tounge down your throat... you broke my heart."

Then he did something they both knew all too well. He left. This time he was running. They had perfected the action. Every time anything happened between them, they ran. Always had. Always would.

He reached the door but couldn't make himself go through it. He turned around, and there she was. Waiting. She stood watching him. Her face was confused and hurt. Her eyes threatened tears.

She would always be there. Like she had the night of Romeo and Juliet, and after the coffee spill. He would run. She would watch. But eventually she wouldn't, she could only wait for him to turn around so many times.

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Sorry it short guys. Hope you like the story. I knew it took me a little while to add this chapter, I had some writers block, which I still have. So please review and send me your ideas for what you want to happen. It really does help. If I get some good feedback I'll try to add another chapter by middle of this week. 


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